Feeling overwhelmed

Let's start with feeling overwhelmed--the bad.  Today was "Educate the Olsons" day at LDS hospital.  WOW.  There is a lot to learn about cancer in general and bone marrow transplants in specific.  We met for an hour with one of the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) doctors and our coordinator.  They went over entire books (it seemed like) on procedures, medications, problems, scenarios, possibilities, and probabilities.  Then Eric had to sign his life away, multiple times. 

Then it was on to our meeting with a BMT nurse, who covered a lot of the same stuff and added more. 

Then it was on to our meeting with a BMT pharmacist, who covered a lot of the same stuff and added more.

Then it was on to our meeting with a BMT dietician, who covered a lot of the same stuff and added more.

After numerous hours of education we finally escaped.  On the way home we discussed our impressions, which were that the BMT team is AMAZING!  They are so knowledgeable, but very approachable.  They are very honest that this will be a challenging period in our lives that may last for years, but they also explained how experienced they are at treating all the various problems that may (and probably will) come up.  Eric and I feel like we are in good hands.

Schedule:  Eric is admitted to LDS on Monday, August 19 (designated as "Day -9" and they count down until "Day 0" which is August 28, the day Eric receives his stem cell infusion, kindly donated by his incredible sister Debbie.  After that they start into positive numbers.)  August 19 Eric has a central line installed for receiving chemo, IVs, medications, nourishment, and from which they can withdraw blood to test his body's reactions to all that is happening.  After receiving an anti-seizure drug Day -9, Eric will receive the first aggressive chemo early on Day -8. 

Visitors:  Eric can receive visitors anytime during the process, but there are restrictions.  No children are allowed.  All visitors must be healthy and not have been around anyone recently who isn't healthy.  Visitors have to scrub up well before and after being in Eric's room.  No live flowers or plants are allowed, so please don't bring or send any.  MaryLynn is accepting chocolate.  Weeks 2 and 3 will be the worst for Eric, so either come the first week, wait until a little later, or call or text me (801 699-4152) to see how Eric is doing before coming.

Let's finish up with feeling overwhelmed--the good.  Eric and I have been overwhelmed by the great kindnesses shown to us by friends and family.  We have been fed.  We have been entertained.  We have been prayed for.  We have had errands run for us and jobs done for us.  There isn't a way to adequately express how much we appreciate each one of you.

This past Sunday was exceptional.  Eric and I were able to skype or otherwise connect with all of our children and grandchildren.  We had visits from friends.  Two wonderful men from our ward (our local church unit) took the time to visit with us and bring us the sacrament.  Afterwards they gave Eric a beautiful and comforting priesthood blessing.  In the evening a very talented family came and sang hymns for us.  They sounded like angels.  It was almost more than we could bear to have such beauty and love in our home.

Cancer is crummy.  But every time we add things up, the positive outweighs the negative.  Cancer has given us the opportunity to be a bit more creative in finding things that are positive, but the blessings are always there if you look for them.  God lives, He loves us, He loves you. 

A word from Eric:   What has most impressed me in the past several weeks?  All the remarkable gifts that come installed with the physical body.  For the moment, I have been deprived of a small fraction of the gifts and it has left me in pain, without sufficient energy and a bit befuddled and severely limited.  It is as if I were living on a wholly different plane by an entirely different set of rules.  So much that I took for granted now seems the dearest of memories, albeit a bit improbable as I now function. 

So my recommendation, don't take a single free step for granted.  Give the deepest thanks to whatever power or grace to which you attribute your possession and use of the physical body.  Take care of it.  Be patient with those of us who move at a slower pace and operate with limitations.  Recognize that this body does not come with a guarantee and someday, in some way, the ground will shift under you as it did under me.  We are marvelous beings but our support and momentum derive from more than our will.  If you know that now, it will be ever so much easier to accept it later, when life whacks you in the face with this truth, as it inevitably will.